World Domination...in the Kitchen

One of my interests is the multitude of cultures displayed on our increasingly shrinking globe. There are two things that I find of particular interest. One of them is food. If you do not know the other, we have obviously never been acquainted.

There is only one obstacle to my comprehensive affection...I am not very eager to plummet to my demise. Taking flight in a large, heavy cylinder of death has never been my idea of a good time. Truthfully, I am not afraid of heights. I simply do not wish my last moments to be long hours scrunched shoulder to shoulder with strangers who either snore in their sleep; or, who wax verbose when they are nervous, in my face, with a gargantuan case of halitosis. Okay...the real truth is I'm a cheapskate, and i don't want to spring for the tickets. You happy? You found me out.

Lucky for me, there is a safer, more solitary, economical way to enjoy one of the things I enjoy most about international entanglements. I introduce my new project that I may...or may not, complete...drum roll, please...World Domination in the Kitchen!

The idea is simple, far from unique, and quite OCD of me, if I do say so myself. I simply bookmark a list of countries, in alphabetical order. I then proceed to cook a meal reflecting the cuisine of each country, in said alphabetical order. Sure, from time to time I will stray and cook a dish favorited by my Better, and obviously more psychologically sound than myself Half; but, for the most part, each night will feature a dish straight from the country that comes next on the list. Simple as pie...but with many more calories.

As long as no one is probably reading this, I may as well add some asides concerning my cooking style. I enjoy reducing the ingredients to their lowest common denominators. If I have a choice between prepackaged and made from scratch, I go for the scratch. I believe some call this gourmet cooking. As long as gourmet does not mean tastes good every time, i will accept that.

I also tailor my recipes for my wife, who has had a gastric bypass. This means that there are certain foods she cannot digest without much discomfort. I do not use brown sugar or honey. On rare, rare occasions, I may use a modicum of brown sugar, for instance, when I am baking pumpkins. Even then, I use only a few pinches. The same goes for white sugar. A few pinches is as far as I go.

I try to keep my food very low in animal fats and oils. I use a LOT of olive oil. If all it costs is a couple of dollars more to by 94% lean ground beef, i cough up the dough.

I do not cook with pork or chicken. Bacon is the exception. Very rarely, when cooking certain African dishes, I will use drumsticks. A world of no to chicken breasts and pork loin.

That's about it. If you care to join me, fasten your seat belts, note the exit exit signs, and observe the "No Smoking" sign...we are about to take off for World Domination...in the Kitchen!